Sydney, Australia

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This place is so out of the way that you will have to spend at least 2-4 weeks here to justify making the long plane trip from the US or Europe. There’s plenty to do in Sydney, especially with the Olympics coming here in 2000. And with Melbourne’s close by, you can easily spend a good long time here without being bored. So no worries about lingering longer, mate. Australian women are fun, rivaling the Swedes for the title of “coolest chicks on earth”. They have accents. They’re rowdy. They drink. They swear. They root— that’s Australian for runkle! They are proud of the fact that they are descended from criminals. Remember, Australia was used by the English as the world’s largest debtor prison, when British aristocracy ruled this continent. Not much here reminds you of England though, except for the nightlife. Like the English, the Australians are very much into their music and love those theme parties and raves made so famous in London. Unfortunately, the Australians have also inherited English weather being that it rains down here a whole lot in the summertime.

Surprisingly, there are a lot of foreigners here, many from Greece and Asia, especially Japan whose ex-patriots bought everything they could, when they first arrived. So much so, that the Australian government banned the further sale of land to those residents not of Australian birth. So if you think that there would be no international flavor “down under”, you will be pleasantly surprised. In addition to having some variety in the mix, Sydney has a great beach, a great nightlife, great women and all the excitement of a city expecting the greatest celebration in all of sport, the Olympic Games— coming here in the new millenium. The Olympics gives this country a chance to really showcase what Australia is really all about, and everyone is taking it seriously. Do your damnedest to bee here if it’s at all possible. If you can’t make it for the big party, check out an Australian Rules football game. With its “no padding allowed” and “no hospitalization necessary, no harm done” philosophy, it puts the American football to shame. This sport is often blamed for the reason many of Australia’s residents act like “slowies”.

Head to one of the many beaches here in Sydney during the day in the summertime and scam on the chicas. The best places to try out your opening line on the topless sunbathers are on Manly Beach and Bondi Beach. If you don’t wake up in time to catch the babes sunbathing, head over to the boardwalk or Centennial Park late afternoon, when all the babes get off work and head there to jog or roller blade. All of Sydney’s best nightlife centers on Oxford Street and its side streets. Pool is the craze these days in Australia. Everyone plays, especially on Fridays. So go find a chick who can handle her stick (and hopefully yours) at the numerous pool pubs around this section of the city, the best of which is Planet Pool on the corner of Resort and Broadway. Early night, head to Soho on Victoria Street and the Underground Cafe on Bayswater Road and get tanked. On the weekends the Banta Room on Oxford, the Bentley Bar on Crown Street and the’ Retro on Angel Place are among the better clubs in the city. If you enjoyed runkling that drunk chick on ecstasy in London, and you want to see if you can pull off a similar stunt down under, then contact SPARCI’S. That stands for the Sydney Party, Rave and Club Information Service, which publishes free information on the Internet to those who desire to frequent this scene.

God Damn Factor 9.5.

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