Seattle, Washington USA


Seattle is a great place if you are into chicks who drink coffee, chicks who dig rainy weather and chicks into alternative rock. This is a very young city, which spawned groups like Nirvana and Pearl Jam. It rains 270 days of the year here, which means this place is depressing. Seattle is where Grunge was born, which means none of the chicks ever dress well and most are tattooed up and pierced. And Seattle is the home of Microsoft and Boeing, which means this town is over run with computer geeks and engineering nerds. If you are going to hook up in Seattle, a pretty safe bet is to pretend to be a rich Microsoft millionaire, and you can easily find a bunch of home-body, Seattle chicks willing to runkle. Your next best bet is to pierce your nose, get a visible tattoo and carry around a guitar This will suddenly make you blend in with all the people who live here and who don’t work at Boeing or Microsoft. While you may suddenly lose your identity in a sea of grunge freaks, you will also find that there are plenty of body-piercing chicks who will suddenly befriend you, because you look like everybody else.

Thankfully, at least the University of Washington is here and keeps the YP in supply year round on University Way and its side streets along with the Queen Anne neighborhood. Pioneer Square is a decent area of town for the Y.  Dream Girls is the best strip club in this area of town.  A kicker bar called Cow Girls is kind of a knock off of Coyote Ugly– with decent looking girls in Daisy Duke shorts dancing on tables.  It’s hard to talk to them though, as they go through their routines.   But they are generally decent looking and most PB’s don’t even mind that they short poor your mixed drinks, because they are too busy staring at T&A.  If you get tired of decent looking waitresses ignoring your drink order to finish their dance routines, head to Trinity and the Last Supper Club— also in Pioneer Square.

The closest thing to real action in Seattle is the L. A.-want-to-be nightclubs in Belltown—Amber, Frontier Room, Cellars andBelltown Billiards. Surprisingly, there are plenty of hot women to be found in these places—but don’t bother coming on any night other than Friday or Saturday. Often times you get some Y heading down from Canada on the weekends to party in Seattle.  Don’t be fooled by the freshly tanned booty. They’re really not from LA.  Since it rains so much, the tanning salons do a thriving business up here.

The Hooters over by Chandlers Cove is interesting.  Lots of pretty girls and big booties—if you are into that sort of thing.  Right next door– Joey’s generally has hot waitresses and decent food with a view of the Cove.  If you snag one of the waitresses, take her to the Citrus Club around the corner from Joey’s.  Or if it’s really late, head to 13 Coins Restaurant– which has good food and is open 24/7, so of course it is a mad house after the bars and clubs close.

For a change of pace, go trolling during the day at the Westlake Center.  That’s the shopping district in downtown Seattle.  There you will find pretty women, with no tats or piercing and dressed well.  All the typical stores and chain restaurants are there.  Go after school or work during the week and on the weekends and you won’t likely be disappointed.

God Damn Factor 7.5