Las Vegas, Nevada USA

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Las Vegas is incredible. Even more so than New York, this city is awake and alive all night, every night. Anything goes. The casinos, clubs and titty bars here are fantastic if you’ve got the cash to blow. The weekend crowd is totally different than the weekday crowd.  During the week, Vegas is full of conventioners and families on vacation from all over the world.  On the weekends (especially during July and August), there are tons of revelers pouring into Vegas from all over the USA.  The crowd totally changes to 20-30 somethings out to get their proverbial drink on and have a good time.

The places to stay are The Palms and Hard Rock Hotels.  There will be the age group that you want, along with smokin’ hot waitresses and bar tenders.  The Palms actually hire hot chicks to just hang around at the bars, lounges and common areas for decoration. So if you see super hot chicks that don’t seem like they belong—it’s probably because they are working girls.  I don’t gamble myself.  I’d rather try my luck with the women. Many other hotels abound on Las Vegas and Paradise Blvd.’s. These hotels are monumental and have one cheesy attraction or another—Egyptian pyramids, huge water parks with dolphins, volcanoes, pirates, rain forests and Medieval castles. As you walk or drive down the strip, you’ll see them all.

There are plenty of places to party in this city.  Every major hotel has clubs.  The best are the Moon, Ghost Bar and Mint at the Palms Hotel and Casino, Body English at the Hard Rock, Pure at Ceasar’s and XS at Encore.  XS is hot right now.  If you want to go, get there early and get bottle service.  But beware—especially on the weekends.  The drunks here are annoying as hell—especially the drunk Asian chicks, who generally travel in large groups—they are the worst of the worst in my opinion.  But then again drunk chicks with fat asses in LBD’s (Little Black Dresses) aren’t all bad.  Runkle away!  Obviously there are tons of bachlorete parties.  These girls are tough to get with, because they all guard each other’s pussies.

For the hottest black jack dealers ever head to the Playboy Club at the Palms.  They rotate the girls constantly.  The Blue Martini here is good.  They have their usual plethora of beautiful girls in corsets and hot pants serving you.  For a change of pace, the 1st Friday of every month, many of the locals head to the bars on Freemont Street—the old downtown Las Vegas.  Everything is cheesier there though.  Eveything from bad imitation bands to bad Elvis impersonators about here.  Not the crowd you generally want to hang out with on any other day of the month—trust me.  Not even the cheaper hotel prices, cheap drinks and cheesy light shows here would keep me around.

All the big hotels also have a decent pool scene.  Waitresses and bar tenders are all young and hot.  I like to concentrate on hooking up with them rather than the visiting girls, because I am usually running solo and I’ve got an audience to show off my talents and resources.  The hottest girls in Vegas are always the girls who are working—not the girls in from out of town.  And they work at night and on the weekends. They usually moved here on a whim and found the same kind of work that every hot girl can find in Vegas—waitressing and bartending. So you have got to learn how to rap on these girls.  Rehab on Sundays at the Hard Rock and the pool at the Palms on Saturdays are good.  Sometimes they even have “models” there for your eye candy entertainment.  They are usually strippers who come during the day in some smokin’ hot outfits showing off their best “ass”ets.

Here’s a hint.  Keep your room keys on your visits.  May clubs have preferential lines for hotel guests and many of the pools are only for guests.  Flashing the hotel room keys will help you save time and aggravation if you are trying to hop around and check out various locations.

Caesar’s Palace and the Venetian have the best shopping and dining options and there are always pretty ladies out there in force.  The Fashion Show Mall is the place to be in the mid-late afternoons to fish for the YP.  The female staff at places like the Guess, Amber Crombie and Fitch as well as — tend to be young and fine.

When you come, bring PLENTY of cash some worthy wingmen!  When the girls come here in droves—huge groups.  So you need to attack them in groups.  Running up solo to a group of freshly tanned hotties dressed to the nines from out of town who are in Vegas to party is NOT for the faint of heart.  You will find yourself in elevators with a dozen women in high heels and dresses—heading out for the evening.  The scent of pussy and perfume filling your nostril in that situation is just priceless, but you have to have the balls to roll.

The titty bars here are legendary.  They will often times provide transportation for you free of charge, so call ahead.  If you get to know the managers, they may also comp your door fee, which can be outrageous.  The best quality ones being The Spearment Rhino (door fee $50 which includes your first 2 drinks), Sapphire (door fee $30 and includes your first drink), Treasures, Seamless and Ricks.  But BE CAREFUL!  The working girls here are career strippers, most of whom fly in specifically to work.  They are vultures—jaded and angry at the world.  Nothing impresses them.  They have seen and heard it all.  I like to stick to the newbies.  They are way more fun and open minded.  The ones who actually live in Vegas are worse.  Don’t get played and go spending money unless you are going to get what you want—whatever that is.  Be upfront and honest about what you are looking for.  I’m too old to get excited about some chick taking her top of and prancing around—unless she is just smoking, coker white hot.  I need more hands on action, so I ask for it.  Cameras abound everywhere, so privacy in the club is impossible.  Try find one to take the party to the hotel.  You only need to find one to make your trip totally worth it.

Prostitution is legal outside of the city limits. You can see signs for cat houses from the road— many of which advertise that they have the “cleanest girls in Nevada”, since only “safe sex” is allowed, and they receive regular medical exams and HIV testing. The Chicken Ranch is the best of the best. If you are going to do it, this place is probably the best in the world, rivaling Amsterdam or Honolulu for raw quantity and quality.  Don’t trust your cab driver to take you anywhere like a message parlor, if you don’t know the guy and trust him.  It will be a collosal waste of time and money.  They all get hooked up by these types of places to bring suckers like you to there place looking for a good time and finding nothing except frustration and empty bill fold.

The Adult Video Network Awards are held here every year in January and this place is crawling with chicks sporting silicone breasts, 4 inch long tongues and perfectly trimmed pubic hair—and every porn loving hard dick from all over the world who are here to see them.   I had a chance to meet legendary porn star Ron Jeromy and a bunch of other ugly guys with big Johnsons who get to pop these girls. One of my buddies, Pat, got invited to one of their “swingers parties” in a penthouse suite in the MGM Grand. He described a scene of naked people having sex on the floor while waiters in tuxedos served them drinks and hour devours. The only rules were that the girls were in charge and dictated the action. Being the “Joe average” he is, he was a little apprehensive about whipping it out at first, but eventually said what the hell and joined in the festivities.

There are several things to be aware of here.  1) If you are going to gamble (which is stupid unless you are trying to impress a chick), play black jack or poker—or if you are really gay, play war.  They are the only games you have any chance at winning.  Don’t be a punk and lose all your money.  2) Taxi cab lines here are insane!  Give yourself plenty of time to get from place to place in this city.

If you get sick of Vegas, head to the suburbs or Summerland and Henderson.  They have more m

God Damn Factor 9.0

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