Italy

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This whole country is like one big Renaissance museum with people living in it. Many Italian women are beautiful, and like Latin American women, even if they aren’t very beautiful, they are extremely sexy. This country is shaped like a boot, and I’m sure the traveling PB will not be disappointed with the “boof’y in this part of the world. Italian women really care about the way they look, what they wear, what car they’re seen in, what man they’re seen with and what people think of them. As in New York or Paris, there’s an awful lot of attitude in this country, so if the woman doesn’t know you, or you aren’t introduced to her by a mutual acquaintance, it is damn hard to get to meet, date and fornicate.   The Italian woman is wary of all men, those she doesn’t know most of all, and she has her guard up at all times. Want to increase your chances of hooking up tremendously? Be courteous, patient and treat her with a little respect. This will set you apart from all the Italian men who generally treat their women like shit.

The reason why Italian women act so cold and unfriendly at times is due to Italian PB’s. When traveling around Europe in the summertime, you can always tell if a girl has visited Italy. She avoids eye contact with men at all cost. She has a look on her face like “Get the hell away from me. Leave me alone. Don’t freaking touch me.” That’s because Italian men (like the Argentines) harass their chicks constantly. They’ll cat call, they follow women around town (scaring most half to death of being raped), they carelessly interrupt their conversations with friends to ask them out, etc. So the women here have to cop attitudes with everyone when they’re approached. If they were friendly and receptive to every PB who scammed on them, they would never be left alone.

If you don’t believe me, consider this; I know a lot of foreign girls who’ve traveled through Italy. Some of them are not very good looking at all. But they get all kinds of attention in this country from Italian men— so much so that when they return to their respective countries, they have an inflated sense of self-worth and quickly find out that their newfound attitude gets them nowhere back home. In fact, many say that they feel under-appreciated by the men of their own country after being exposed to Italian men. I can understand the nature of the Italian PB’s. Hey, if I lived here, I’d probably act the same way. What I don’t understand about them (or Latin Americans and Asians for that matter) is their insatiable fetish for blonde chicks. If a girl has blonde hair and she’s in Italy, it doesn’t matter what she looks like, she is going to get hit on constantly. I have seen Italians pass over some of the hottest, dark-haired Italian women with bodies like you dream about for mediocre fair-haired German, Irish, and Scandinavian chicks. Don’t ask me why. These guys must be watching too many re-run episodes of Baywatch or something. Thou always want to covet that which thou does not have, I guess.

You have got to blow some cash to have a good time in Italy. Try to get into a good club in Milan if you show up without a beautiful woman, don’t drive a Ferrari, aren’t dressed like John Gotte, don’t know anybody associated with the club or have no money. Your ass is going to be waiting outside all night with all the other backpacking PB’s trying to get in! Be careful with your valuables in Italy, especially in and around the train stations and more popular tourist attractions where the gypsies tend to hang out. They will do things like, throw babies at you to catch while one of the older ex-acrobats rifles through your bags and pockets and takes everything he possibly can. As in France, be sure to sample the chow, coffee and vino in Italy before you leave. They’re excellent. You will never look at pizza the same way again.

As in Spain, everything tends to close for the mid-day siesta, so plan ahead. Don’t were shorts and a tank top walking around the city, if you ever expect to fit in with the locals, get into a museum, a church, a decent cafe, bar, club or restaurant. It doesn’t matter how hot it is outside. Everyone dresses well all the time. Any knowledge of the Romance languages will generally get you buy well enough to communicate with the locals. No one speaks Latin here, dumbass, but all those years of high school Spanish will come in handy. As in the bars and cafes in France, the prices are cheaper if you are at the bar as opposed to sitting at a table. In August most of the local booty heads to the beaches of the Italian and French Riviera, Costa del Sol and the Greek Islands. But at any one time there will always be tons of foreign booty traveling through Italy and visiting the countless sights and museums in the major cities. The Renaissance started here with the likes of Michelangelo, Raphael, Dante, Galileo, Machiavelli, Bellini, Caravaggio and the only man in history who may have been as smart as Gauss or as revolutionary as Darwin, Leonardo da Vinci. (By the way, rumor has it that “big Leo” did his fair share of runkling in his day.) Impress the hot chick you met at the museum with whatever you may have retained from that art appreciation class you took junior year in college.

Rome is friendlier than other places in Italy, like Milan and very international due to the large number of students here. It’s also the most densely populated city in Italy. This place, like much of Italy, is basically a museum that just never closes to the public. The multitude of priceless artwork, ancient buildings and buzzing piazzas will always ensure that there will be plenty of international booty here, especially in the summertime. During the day check out the tons of historical sights in this place that are full of foreign chicks, like the Coliseum, the Pantheon, the Vatican Museum, St. Peter’s Basilica and the Sistine Chapel. This is a huge city with the River Tiger running through the middle of it. The streets off of the Piazza della Rotondo, Piazza del Popolo and Piazza di Spagna are good places to work on the honey’s both local and foreign during the day and early evening. The university YP can be found in San Lorezo and Citta Universitaria. The park, Villa Berghese isn’t a bad place to scam on the babes if you into very, Y, YP!

As in Paris, the nightlife in Rome is spread out all over the place. Yes, the city of Caligula and La Dolce Vita can be fun, but mostly for those with the cash to conform with all of the designer clothes everyone wears around here. Testaccio, Trastevere and the Campo dei Fiori are the only places in the city were the bars and clubs are at all centralized, but better can be found outside of the city center in places like Rimini and Riccione, if you have access to a car or know someone who can drive you. The only night to bother making the trip all the way out there is Saturday. If you want to club hop, make sure you have some form of transportation. Mastering the mass transit system or hoofing it may be economical, but a moped or car will be much more convenient and will be looked upon much more favorably by the chicks on line waiting to get into the clubs.

The coolest places to be seen out early night include Bar del Fico and Bar della Pace on Via della Pace, The Drunken Ship and Vineria on Campo de’ Fiori. Lots of attitude and beautiful babes abound. Later on head to the mecca of all discotecs in this part of Italy, Arabesk on Via Nepesina, in Civita Castellana— only open on Saturdays. Alternatively head to the B-Side on Via del Funari, Radio Londra and Testaccio Village on Via di Monte Testaccio or Heaven on Viale di Porta Ardeatina, Ostiense. If you have some cash to drop and a Ferrari to drive, head to Gilda on Via Mario de’ Fiori or the Jazz Cafe on Via Zanardelli, where the Roman elite go to party.

God Damn Factor 8.0

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