Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

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If you get sick of Miami’s pretentiousness or can’t stand that salsa and meringue echoing in your ears anymore, retreat northward to Ft. Lauderdale. There lie beautiful babes as well, but they are distinctly American.  Check it out in the daytime during the academic year. Fort Lauderdale’s shopping district is centered on Sawgrass Mills and Los Olas Blvd, and there is plenty of booty out and about. Many of Fort Lauderdale’s best clubs are located on the corners of Sunrise and North Ocean Boulevards and on the oceanfront strip along Atlantic Blvd., where the beaches, bars and bitches abide. My favorite places include Elbow Room, Hooters, LuLu’s and Exit 66.

Downtown Lauderdale has really evolved as a place to meet the Y.  Automatic Slims (especially on college night Thursdays during the school year), Americas Back Yard, Himmarshee, Side Bar, Brick, Briny Pub, Cayote Ugly, Hooka Bar, VooDoo (Ladies night on Thursdays) and Tarpin Bend are awesome for the ladies.  Thursdays and Saturdays, check out Living Room where the waitresses serve you drinks topless covered in body paint.  DON”T GO ON FRIDAYS.  It’s fudge packer night, which is the owner’s favorite.  For great food and drinks early, hot waitresses and more mature women, do Bova Prime and Yolo on Las Olas.  The hotest women in Fort Lauderdale work on the weekends, so be sure you know how to hit on the help, player PB.

If you love the dark meet ladies with big curves, check out Capones and Art Bar.  The best titty bars here are Pure Platinum, Solid Gold (with crazy acrobatic shows twice nightly) and nearby Tootsies are the best of the best. They women are all nude and all phat!  If you have the dough, do the VIP rooms with a manager approved girl for some real fun.  You will not be disappointed.  Trust me on this one.

God Damn Factor 9.5

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