Bangkok, Thailand Asia

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If you love Asian girls and you are into sex with strangers, this is the country for you.  But a stern warning to start off with.  Check for an Adam’s Apple!  There are lots of “lady boys” here, and some of them can really fool you.

“Ground zero” for all the fun is a place called the Nah Nah Hotel in Bangkok.  No I am not kidding, it really is called the Nah Nah Hotel and it is chock full of Nah Nah. I had a friend of mine who is an ER doctor from Vegas who literally walked into the bar/night club in this hotel, walked up to a group of girls and pointed to six of them, while shouting “you, you, you, you, you and you come with me”.  The quietly got up and in single file, followed him back to the room, where he proceeded to bang all six of the them—two at a time, while the others watched.

Oh and that’s not the crazy part.  How about the blow job bars across the street, where literally you can have a drink with your buddy, while some chick (or someone you hope is a chick) is blowing you from a depressed platform under the bar!  Too much for me man.  Way too much.

They’ve got bars here where the ladies are all half naked with numbers buttoned to their string bikinis.  If you like one, you tell the waitress the number of the girl you want, she will bring her over, you can talk and get to know her.  Then if things really go well, you can “bar fine” her—which is a fee to pay to the house so that she can leave with you.  And you can take off for the evening.

Oh, and I love the shopping in this place—window shopping that is.  You know that scene in Rush Hour 2 when Chris Tucker is visiting Jackie Chan in China and they go to a bar with ladies sitting behind a glass window dressed in lingere—again with numbers buttoned to them—and Tucker is enthusiastically crying out—“Ooo…  Ooo… Number 57…  no 32…  no, no, 16” because he is so excited, he just can’t chose one.  Well they have that here too.  Yep.  After you pick the lady you want, she will take you for a “soapie”.  Don’t know what a sopie is?  Well, gentlemen—its awesome.  You can show up hung over, dirty and exhausted from a night of total debauchery and show up to one of these places and just let her do everything.

She will take your clothes off, bath you, wash your hair, trim your fingernails, shave you—then bank you, wash you again and send you on your way—smiling, happy and feeling totally refreshed.

 

The main action is at Soi Cowboy (off Soi 23) or the Nana complex (Soi 4). To avoid wasting the first night, with late arrival, I will go to a hotel within a short walk from one of those places.  Nana Complex (Soi 4, just off of Sukhumvit), has about 20 or so Go-Go bars. I made it through about five or six, and again saw twice as much potential there as at EDSA complex. Maybe not as good as Soi Cowboy overall.  Soi Cowboy (between Soi 21 and Soi 23, on a road just off Sukhumvit, which runs parallel to it, is a two block long strip of about 10 Go-Go bars and 10 beer/band bars. I ventured into about four of the Go-Go bars, and saw at least  twice as much potential at those four as at the whole EDSA complex, in Manila.

Soi 33, just off of Sukhumvit, has about a dozen beer bars, each of which have about a half dozen to a dozen hostesses each, available to chat with you and have you buy them drinks, or be bar-fined, if they like you. I went into about six of the bars, three of which had one or two quality candidates for more intimate conversations.

Also, numerous massage parlors, of which I looked into about six, and only saw one that was impressive and would go back to, Naturee, on the Metro line about four stops north of Sukhumvit, about 25-30 minutes getting there from the Asok station, by Sukhumvit and Soi 19. The four times I arrived there, between 3:30 and 5:00 PM, it had from 50-100 girls available from which to choose, about two-thirds in the 18-21 age range. I was the only Caucasian there though, and the real newbies were too scared to go with me, apparently tales of the white man’s large nature having preceded me.

In general, Thai girls speak very little English compared to Filippinas, with probably 2/3 of the beer bar/go-go girls and all of the massage girls having no more than a couple hundred word English vocabulary, if that. So conversation is mostly limited, until you learn some Thai.  Go-go dancers more aggressive and short-timers, especially if they can get back to the bar before closing, whereas bar girls are not so overly aggressive and more likely to stay the whole night.

Pataya is a beach town here where you can relax, get out of the city and have some fun.  Here you can find chicks playing checkers in these outdoor bars—enticing you to come and drink at their little area, while mommasun patiently watches over the flirting.  If you like one, bar fine her and have fun.  We stayed at one place in Pataya where my buddy Ben and I had a hotel room with our own private indoor pool with swim up bar—AND our own private back door entrance to the titty bar neighboring the hotel.  For $70 a night, we also had our own hot tube, Jacuzzi, stripper pole and sex swing in the room.  Outrageous.

God Damn Factor 8.0

 

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